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Discussion Area
A place for us all to discuss and share all the issues surrounding caring for a loved one who is an Addict
Moderators fadas, nicnac, pennylane |
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Fri Sep 05, 2008 8:50 pm
sunny  |
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FADAS Weekly Meet-up
FADAS Weekly Meet-up
We run a weekly FADAS meet-up at the premises of Crew 2000. This is held every Tuesday 7.15 Crew 2000 32 Cockburn Street (enter by Anchor Close)
Moderators fadas, nicnac, pennylane |
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| About FADAS |
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About FADAS
This site was created in may 2008, in response to the need in Edinburgh for a safe space for family members to discuss their issues. We welcome everyone who is in someway connected to an addict as members. We also welcome the viewpoints of recovered addicts as we can all gain knowledge from each other. We would prefer however, that site did not become confused by supporting addicts who are still battling their own addiction.
Often there is too much emphasis on healing the 'Addict'
and the family
are left to cope with the crisis and chaos that are involved when dealing with an addicted loved one.
We are not professionals, we are people connected to addicts, we do not claim to have the answers but we can help point you in the right direction. We are here predominantly to support those connected to an addict. We can however, give you advice on where to go for help for the addict if you need it.
Moderators fadas, nicnac, pennylane |
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Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:39 am
pauline |
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The Aims of FADAS
To help the family of people with a current or former drug problem, by providing mutual support.
The group will be anonymous and confidential.
To offer a safe space where we can share experiences and anxieties.
The group will not be affiliated to any other organisation.
The group will be only families of drug users. We do invite recovered addicts to join our forum if they wish, it can be a useful tool to see the world through an addicts viewpoint.
We aim to focus on our own reactions and attitudes.
To encourage people to be responsible for themselves, & their own well being.
To learn to be open, & honest.
Not to accept guilt for other peoples actions.
Not to make idle threats.
Not to continue to be manipulated by the addict.
Accept the things we cannot change.
The group will not make you any promises.
Moderators fadas, nicnac, pennylane |
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The roots of FADAS
We have identified a need in the Edinburgh area for a support group for families of drug addicts. Other cities in Scotland, such as Glasgow and Aberdeen have groups such as Family Anonymous (FA) & Al-Anon (Al- A). We have attended meetings of Families Anonymous in Glasgow and Al-Anon in Edinburgh to try to establish whether these groups would meet the needs of parents and siblings of drug addicts. Both groups were supportive and have offered a great deal of help to many people.
However, Al-Anon was mainly established to help the families of alcoholics, both Al- Anon & Families Anonymous work their own twelve step program working on the principals of asking your God, as you know him to help. We felt certain aspects of other organisations were not relevant to those supporting addicts, & decided that this was not the direction we wanted to go, so looked into starting a different sort of group.
Moderators fadas, nicnac, pennylane |
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| FADAS |
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When a Loved One is an Addict
The role played by those who care for and about an addict can be complicated and confusing. It is often easy to feed in to the Addicts behaviours such as lying and stealing and self pity. Many of the steps taken by family members at these times can enable the behaviour of the addict to continue. It is important to stress however that whatever the loved ones do… IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You did not cause it and you cannot control it. When family members can take a step back and stop focusing on the Addict, it may help the addict reach the point where they realise that they need help. But no two situations are ever the same, and what works for one addict may not help another. We cannot change or control the behaviour of the addict, however we can learn and grow on a personal level and accept that we cannot Do things for the Addict but we can Be things. If the situation becomes so, that you cannot be around the Addict any longer. You must try to deal with your feelings of guilt and accept that sometimes the only way forward is To let go with love. By this we mean that you do not love that person any less, but sometimes the situation is only bearable from a distance. This may be because there are children involved, or that you cannot trust the addict in your house or perhaps even that you just cannot stand to see what this person has become. It is easy to stagnate at this point and mourn for the loss of your child, sibling, partner or parent. At this point we need to accept change in ourselves and accept the reality of our own situations, we are all capable of change, and the only change you can make is a positive change in yourself.
Moderators fadas, nicnac, pennylane |
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FADAS
General Topics
Moderators fadas, nicnac, pennylane |
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Wed May 28, 2008 7:00 pm
nicnac |
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